A Few Thoughts on the Past, Present & Future

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LIFE CAN BE A BIT CRAZY SOMETIMES. LET’S CATCH UP!

It’s Monday, but most importantly – it’s finally December. I can’t really explain it, but there’s something special about December. People truly are more cheerful and positive than for the rest of the winter months. My family is in town for a Christmas concert, so the first weekend of December is a perfect day for a reflection on what has happened in 2017, how the rest of the year and how 2018 will be like.

The thing is, life has been really overwhelming lately. After I moved back to Norway, it was like everything took a bad turn. I was 26 years old and had moved back home to the little town I grew up in (and escaped from) to stay with mum. I was finishing my dissertation, and had been rejected for about 40 jobs due to my lack of relevant work experience (apparently eight years of retail experience doesn’t count). I think at the time I didn’t think too much about it because I was so busy with my dissertation anyway, but when I handed in my dissertation and suddenly had nothing to do, I guess it somehow became a bit too much for me.

Even though I like to consider myself a generally positive human being, I found it even harder to see the light when I was officially an unemployed graduate. University had always been the one thing I felt good at in life, and when that didn’t result in a job, I got lost. On top of that, I was accused by my university to have never submitted my dissertation almost a month after the deadline had expired. I ended up with a bad grade, fighting against university employees and still trying to find a job. I felt worthless, I was lonely and felt like everything I had worked for would never happen.

Despite those feelings, I still did everything in my power to improve the situation, and in the end it paid of. Even though I still don’t have a lot to do at home, things are improving. I think I’ve come to the point where I’ve realized that my situation is just temporary. I scored an internship in Lisbon starting January, and my days are feeling a bit brighter.

So deep down I feel that today marks the start of a new era.

This week is going to be a weird one, though. It’ll be a week of big ups and downs. My grandmother passed away last week, so I’m flying north to meet the rest of the family and attend her funeral. It’s gonna be a bit weird going back. Not only because of the funeral, but most of the time I’ve visited them in the past years it has been because of a funeral. It’s a bittersweet feeling, because I’m so excited to see my family again, but I still have the funeral lingering around that happiness as well.

On a more positive note, I’m heading straight to Cardiff after the funeral for a week of friendships, Christmas festivities and graduation. It feels like I’ve been gone for a lot longer than four months, but at the same time I can’t believe it’s been so long. I think  going back to Cardiff will do me really good. Even though there are certain people I really hope I will not bump into whilst I’m there, the fear does not overshadow my excitement of seeing my friends again and celebrating my graduation. Even though it was hard being in Wales at times, my friends are the ones who I had all of the good times with. I think sometimes you just need to leave a place, person or situation to understand whether you should continue down that road or not, and I’ve realized that the only thing I can do is to push my worries away, and focus on the people I want to have in my life when I’m there.

With Christmas and moving to Lisbon coming up fast after Cardiff, there really is a lot to look forward to and I feel more positive than I have in a long time.

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8 Comments

  1. 4. December 2017 / 18:56

    I hope things start to look up and work out for you lovely! People don’t talk about what it’s like to leave uni, and then what happens next!
    It sounds like you have some lovely plans coming up though! X

    • Malin
      4. December 2017 / 22:53

      Thanks lovely x It wasn’t until I left uni I realized that the stories they always told us were the success stories, but I’ve realized that most people don’t find a new job straight away. But until then, I can only enjoy the things that happen now.

  2. 4. December 2017 / 22:36

    Looking forward to follow your future adventures. I have also lived in Lisbon for a while, curious to see what you will think of it 🙂

    • Malin
      4. December 2017 / 22:54

      Thank you x I’ve never been there before, so I’m very excited now. One month left now.

  3. 5. December 2017 / 13:14

    I can’t wait to see what the future has in store for you, I know whatever it is, it’ll be amazing! I’ve loved reading this post!

    • Malin
      5. December 2017 / 13:39

      Thank you so much, Rosie x

  4. 6. December 2017 / 19:58

    So sorry to hear about your grandmother and the dissertation drama. At least the fight with that paid off. Take care!

    Sarah x

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